i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize