Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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