Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
