those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you traded sex for a burrito?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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