if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
