Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
