dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
