yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
