Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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