hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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