you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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