Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Are we still banned from the library?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
