Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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