.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
