He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
