it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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