his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
