you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
