I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
why do cheetos always look like penises
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize