She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
