just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
