What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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