Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize