Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
