ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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