I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize