I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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