my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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