What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
