whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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