Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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