He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
