Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Randomize
