i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
