Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
