I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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