worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
