Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize