you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
