It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
