Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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