i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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