Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
