Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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