I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
