I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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