I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm both gender and math confused
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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