How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize