Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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