So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
