hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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