How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Welp...herpes.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
