i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
