its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
