Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
