pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
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