If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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