we're chasing vodka with high fives
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize