Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
