WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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