She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
