We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
3 2 1 whiskey
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
