yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
