I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
