I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
