Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize