By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
