You can't motorboat a personality
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The air was thick with penises
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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