what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
