Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
i think im in europe. pls send help
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
