I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
