So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
